Friday, October 31, 2008

Long Distance Relationships: Tips For Making Them Work


Here are some tips for making it work:

- Ask the important questions at the onset, to make sure you are both clear on the parameters of the relationship. These can be difficult and awkward questions to ask, but will save you great heartache and misunderstanding down the line. For example, are you open to the possibility of relocating if the relationship should become more serious?

- Communicate in some way every day - more than once if possible. Since you won't be seeing each other, it's important to establish and maintain an emotional connection. These don't have to be long, in-depth conversations (though those should occur sometimes). Tell each other about your little triumphs and tragedies. Ask for advice. Use an instant messenger program or VoIP for real-time chat, or webcams for that visual connection. E-mail is great so make sure you use it, especially if long-distance phone calls put a strain on your budget. Write love letters. Send small gifts or flowers for no reason. In this case, quantity is as important as quality. You may discover an advantage over others whose partner is close at hand - you don't take communication for granted!

- Recognize, and take advantage of, the benefits that long distance relationships offer such as more time with friends and/or family, no arguments over toothpaste caps, the pleasure of seeing your sweetheart again after a long absence. Most important, being far apart gives you a chance to maintain your individuality - something that can get lost in the shuffle when couples spend all their free time together.

- Pursue common interests, even if it means pursuing them apart. If there's a movie you're both interested in seeing, watch it individually and then call each other afterward and discuss it. Read a certain book at the same time. Stargaze while on you're on the phone. Set your watches to go off at the same time every day, and synchronize your alarm with that of your partner. Make it a point to think of each other when your watch goes off, and revel in the fact that he or she is thinking about you, too. Find creative ways to bond.

- Avoid the temptation to be controlling. People have free will and no one can or should control another person. As long as you are both interested in being in the relationship, you will stick with it and distance will not make a difference. As soon as one of you decides the other is not a good match - or someone else is a better match - your relationship ends, whether you live 3000 miles apart, two streets over, or share the same bed with your wedding picture on the wall. Most relationship advice boils down to common sense; needless to say you are going to have to trust each other completely if this relationship is going to work.

- Talk about your future together. Assuming that ultimately you'd want to live together, discussing how you're going to get to that point will help you prove to each other that long distance relationships can go somewhere and that your efforts and frustrations are not in vain.

- Perhaps the toughest aspect of long distance relationships is this: Know when to say good-bye. While this is tough in any relationship, this can be especially hard over long distances. When communication becomes one-sided or sparse for too long and for no apparent reason, when arguments (yes, you'll have them) become too frequent, when the whole thing just seems like more trouble than it's worth, it's time to re-evaluate the relationship. Either you'll decide to go your separate ways, or you'll get closer for having overcome another obstacle to your happiness together.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

What Is The Best Age To Marry? A Closer Look At The Research


As a couples therapist, I frequently give relationship advice about the best age, if any, to get married. While there is no magical age to get married, one is almost always better off waiting to get married, for lots of good reasons.

First, the divorce rate has been hovering at 50% for years, and is much higher the younger you get married. Teenage or early adult marriages have a divorce rate of 75%-85%, and surveys show that the older the female is at the time of her first marriage, the longer the marriage lasts.

I ask you: If you were boarding on a plane with a 50% chance of crashing, would you get on?

The reason for the high divorce rate, particularly among teens/early adults, is simple: From a basic developmental perspective, peoples' needs and goals change over time, and at age 30 you will be a much different person than you were at 18 or 21. Also, studies indicate that the purely chemical "butterflies in the tummy" feeling one gets when in love only lasts between two to six months, if your lucky. In other words, it doesn't last, so perhaps it's best to be with your current love without making things more complex by getting married.

Also, while there is no perfect way to determine the potential stability of a given marriage, the following questions are vital prior to considering such a huge life change.

Prior to getting married, one has to be mature enough to realize:

-Love is not enough; the stresses of a young couple are real, and the struggle for decent jobs, housing, and health insurance are real stresses that can destroy any couple. Why rush to take on difficult adult responsibilities?

-Consider your own needs, goals, and relationship requirements. Does your partner satisfy them? It is rare for a teenage or young adult to have enough life experience to know what they really want.

-You MUST be totally emotionally, physically and financially independent from your parents. Healthy marriages require two independent individuals to make a complete whole. Young couples typically marry to get away from their parents or a negative home environment, but there are other ways to cope.

-Relationships need time to see if behavior patterns are consistently healthy. So ask, how long has this union been happy and healthy?

-Get to know yourself. What do you want in life? What do you wish to contribute to the world and how? Live purposefully, then you'll meet others with similar world views and life visions.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Create Your Perfect Wedding Ceremony - Is Poetry Or Prose Perfect For Your Wedding Ceremony?


Does poetry make you swoon or leave you cold? There are so many wonderful, inspirational passages that you can use for your wedding ceremony. But as with anything in your wedding ceremony, you want it to look like you and to sound like you. If you don't have a "poetic soul," don't sweat it! There are plenty of writers, writing amazing things, to choose from. And if you like poetry, this is a real opportunity to use it. The important thing is to find words to explain how you feel about one another and reinforce the depth of your devotion.

Poetry: There is such a wide range of choices to be made. I love poetry, I love to hear its rich phrases read well by someone who likes to read. Weddings are one of the few places in our daily lives where we encounter public poetry.

* Classical: There are timeless words of great poets that echo through the ages. The metaphor for love in Robbie Burn's "My Love is Like a Red, Red Rose" provides the opportunity for an exchange of red roses that can happen at your wedding ceremony and throughout your marriage.
* Modern: In Alice Walkers "Beyond What" she says, "call it a council between equals, call it love." This is a wonderful metaphor for a marriage today.
* Songs: You have a favorite love song. Everyone does. And whether Frank Sinatra sang it, or John Lennon, or Madonna, the words may well be perfect to let people know just how much you love one another. The poetry in songs is often strong enough to stand without the music.

Prose: Just because there's no rhyme or rhythm, doesn't mean that there isn't sweet, sweet meaning. Often prose can speak directly to a point as Sam Keene does in his book To a Dancing God where he explores "What does it mean to take a vow?" Charles Dickens exhorted the married life when he said: "Come let's be a comfortable couple and take care of each other."

Who are your favorite authors? What do you need your wedding ceremony to emphasize? What's important in your life together? Find the words, search the net, haunt your libraries and bookstores, and then fold them into your ceremony to help your community understand why your wedding vows and your marriage matter to you.

Bottom Line?: Give your relationship the chance it deserves to succeed wildly, against all odds! After all, you deserve it. Your relationship deserves it! And now I'd like to invite you to sign up to receive 2 free templates for creating the wedding ceremony of your dreams, the wedding vows of your heart and the marriage of a lifetime.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

What Are Wedding Accessories and Why Do I Need Them?


Allow us please to tell you why we think wedding accessories are so important for a Bride and Groom.
Wedding accessories are the beautiful little pieces that make the decorations shine so to speak.

Wedding accessories are a must for every bride, and they can add up to be a substantial part of the bridal budget in no time.
Wedding accessories are so important when it comes down to adding the finishing touches to the bridal attire.
Wedding accessories are the basic essentials you will need for your wedding.

Wedding accessories are meant to be cherished as memories of a once in a lifetime experience, but they shouldn't be locked away where you can't see and enjoy them.
Wedding accessories are important to complete your bridal look.
Wedding accessories are an integral part of any wedding.

Now that the day is near, you want to make sure that everything about the way you look--from your dress to your wedding accessories are perfect.
Important wedding things For a complete bridal look, wedding accessories are vital.

Other wedding accessories are needed for the flower girl, ring bearer and arriving guests.
Your entire bridal party and wedding accessories are catered for and will please any bride on her wedding day.

Religious wedding accessories are a very important tradition of the marriage ceremony.

The right wedding accessories are an important part of the overall image you present on your wedding day, and you want to find that special products that will compliments the perfect wedding gown that you have chosen.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

How to Propose to a Woman


Steps

1. Think first. Is this a person that you really want to spend the rest of your life with? If so, read on.
2. Ask her parents for permission. This can be extraordinarily important to her and her family. Always think of her. However, she may not be the kind of woman who likes this old-fashioned traditionalist approach, so if she doesn't, don't do it. You should know her well enough by now.
3. Think of her favorite things. For example, does she love roses, beaches, etc.? Have some on hand or choose a site where she will see her favorite things. For instance, where is a place that she loves most? Make reservations if needed.
4. Look for a ring. Ask her mom or best friend what her ring size is. If you don't know, get a temporary ring, and then get another after you propose.
5. Double-check everything. Make sure you have all the things you need for your plan to go smoothly.
6. Write down something short and sweet to say. For example, say "I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Make sure you write it.
7. Don't practice. You may feel nervous, but you don't want it seem like it was rehearsed.
8. Set everything up and go to the place you've chosen.
9. When you're ready, get down on one knee and ask "Will you marry me?" Be prepared for her to start crying and/or squealing with delight and surprise. She is just excited!
10. If she says yes, end the proposal with a kiss or a hug. If she says no, do not react poorly. She may need time to think and a memory of your sour face and grumpy attitude will leave a bad impression in her mind. Be a gentleman.


Tips

* Talk to her about it. If you really think that you can be together for the next 50 years, you can talk about things like marriage. Make sure that she wants to marry you
* Originality is awesome, but don't go overboard.
* If possible, set up a video camera or ask someone to take pictures. These will be great to show to family members and friends.
* If you are really clueless, ask her best friend(s) or mother.


Warnings

* Don't worry if she says "No" or "I'll have to think about it" - this is a big step.


Things You'll Need

*
o A prenup!
* A girl that you love
* A ring
* Some money
* Help
* Courage
* Ideas
* (Most importantly) love
* More love

Saturday, October 11, 2008

How To Choose The Right Wedding Cake


The wedding cake is a very important detail of your big day, but it need not be a daunting task – This is one part of the wedding planning you can really have fun with! The decision is entirely up to you, and you can have anything you want! After all, it is your special day.

In general, most weddings are planned around a theme or color scheme. You could even look at incorporating this theme into the cake, and will also make your choice much easier. It is important to remember the cake is one of the focal points of the day, and therefore sufficient time must be taken to choose the perfect one.


In latter days, a wedding cake was almost always the traditional fruit cake iced in marzipan, not always a firm favorite with everyone. Nowadays you can get any flavor you wish, such as chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, lemon, or anything you like! If you decide to have a cake with more than one tier, you could even have a different flavor for each tier! You would also want to consider choosing something universally enjoyable, as you would not want to go with a flavor that you like personally but not many other people would enjoy.

There is a wide spectrum of cake decorators and cake making companies who will help you create the wedding cake of your dreams. If you like angel cake, or sponge cake, they can make you a wedding cake to your preferred type. You will want to make sure your cake is delicious, and moist and fluffy, because this is something all the wedding guests are going to sample for themselves!

You can be as creative as you like with your wedding cake. Cake decorators will help you take your theme and color scheme into consideration when it comes to the style and icing on your cake. Icing can be made into many different colors, and you can even 'ice' your cake in melted and hardened chocolate. You can add plenty of detail these days, with as much frills and fuss as you like.You can have edible flowers, pretty ribbons and any designs you can think of. Your cake does not have to be square, or round either, but can be made into a variety of different shapes and sizes.

Another factor to take into consideration is that your wedding cake does not have to be a cake at all! Nowadays, some people even opt for tiers of cupcakes iced artistically, or chocolate brownies, biscuits and even individually wrapped chocolates.

Finding a wedding cake is not always easy, but there are ways to narrow down your choices - such as color, flavor and type of cake. It is important to compare prices and quality, because you may find one place will charge you a more exorbitant cost for the same kind of cake you found at another place for a cheaper price. You should taste a plethora of different samples of wedding cakes, from a variety of different suppliers before settling on your decision. Finding a cake supplier who will design a cake exactly to your taste and desire will make the experience even more pleasant.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

What Do Women Really Want From Men?


Men have been trying to figure out what women want for ages, and to be honest that's an question that bears asking. Without knowing what a woman wants, how can you expect her to respond to you? You've heard the old cliches, that diamonds are a girl's best friend, that every girl wants roses on Valentine's Day, or that what she really wants is romantic getaway, but realistically, what do women want? Answering this question can take a lifetime, and even if it's an extremely enjoyable study on a vastly lovely topic, it will be frustrating, as well! Take a look a few pointers for figuring out what women want.

To start off with, women want someone who listens. This seems simple enough, until you add in the fact that you need to comprehend, digest and use accordingly as well. Say a girl mentions that she enjoys sushi. Just hearing this statement is not the end of it. To be counted an active listener, surprise her with a dinner at a Japanese restaurant. Women appreciate small details as well as large ones, so try to integrate this into your life. If she mentions being nervous about a presentation at work, ask her about it in the evening. This will win you major points in the listener category.

Remember to be yourself. You might think that a woman prefers someone who is all about her, but realistically, that gets old. Having your own interests and your hobbies makes you much more interesting. Keep in mind that women like being thought of as worthwhile, but too much is too much. If you spend all your time fawning on her, she'll soon start believing that you're a loser who has nothing else going on in his life, and the fact is, she might not be far wrong! When you have a busy life and you make time out of it to spend with your girlfriend or lover, she'll be flattered. Every woman likes to feel that her man is exciting and fascinating, so make sure that you display this. Trust us, women aren't looking for doormats that will serve them hand and foot all day, every day!

One strategy that you might want to employ is breaking it down a little bit. So know that the person you're trying to impress is a woman. Well, that breaks it down to a category that encompasses half the human race. Get more specific than that. Maybe she's a librarian; that usually means that she enjoys books. Does she work at a gym? That must mean that fitness is important to her. When you start gathering facts like this, you're getting closer to finding out what is important to the woman that you are interested in.

As you can see, figuring out what women want can be frustrating. When you're out there trying to attract the eye of the woman of your dreams, remember that you have a lot to offer and that sometimes, what a woman wants most is for you to head over and say hello. In the mean time, Good Luck!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Online Dating, Does It Work?


Online dating use to be perceived as a dangerous place to meet the opposite sex, many afraid they could encounter a so called “fatal” attraction or creepy.

However, since it took off almost a decade ago, online dating has moved forward so much that it is now very common. You may have even heard of close friends finding their spouse through online dating.

I believe there is still a lot of fear out there that people worry about what they see on the net doesn’t turn out to be exactly what they perceived. There are occasions that the photo they post is perhaps several years old and much more better looking than they currently are, but fact is most internet sites are truthful so what you see is usually what you get.

The advantage of online dating is that you can do it all from the comfort of your own home without the fear of possible introductions, conversations and rejections hurting your ego since they are all done electronically.

Again, practice is the name of the game. And I’m not just talking about the internet site but practicing your moves on the internet and it is one of the best ways to find out what women like about you and what you also like about them. It allows you to explore your inner feelings and emotions without the fear of getting hurt publicly.

The best way to approach online dating is to pretty much provide a lot of information about yourself. It then allows for a much higher percentage of matching you up with someone successfully.

Be proactive and positive with your descriptions always. Never criticize what you hate about woman but what you are looking for in a woman and with the focus on what activities you enjoy. And this shouldn’t include work! You will be surprised the amount of women who will also love what you do as a hobby and you both instantly find common ground!

Everyone has different motives with online dating. Some are looking for a long term relationship and true romance, while others are looking for a friendship and even a one night stand. So it’s very important to state clearly what you are looking for as this avoids confusion and wasted time. There is no right or wrong answer.

Lastly, make sure you put a picture of yourself. A picture speaks a thousand words and the response is much much higher simply because without it, they have no idea what you look like and are thus more careful to even want to speak to you.

In the mean time, Good Luck!

Monday, October 6, 2008

Five Ways to Make a Marriage Click


Novelty and gift stores still keep crystal decorations with ‘25’ embossed on them – and there are people whose marriages last even longer. They are not the results of forced marriages in early youth within strong cultural and religious barriers, nor are they the result of devoted worshippers who believe suffering a rotten marriage in silence is the best way to please God and make things easy on the last day. Some couples just manage to make their union click, even in this age of divorce, prenuptial agreements and vulgar court battles fought by greedy celebrities.

The greatest secret to a successful marriage is that it does not have a ready recipe book to be photocopied and distributed. A good marriage is always ‘customised’ to the teeth -- the two people who are a part of it go out of their way to make things special for each other. All of us are different, so the only way to manage a marriage perfectly is to know your partner and yourself thoroughly and be willing to take things on as they come. Below are some properties that most of these happily-ever-after matches have – but once again – they are no magic formula.

The Importance of Respect

Why do you love your spouse? If you start thinking carefully, you will realize that the physical attributes play a great role in it all, and there is no reason why they should not. We are not talking of storks bringing in the babies here. But do you really respect him or her for what he or she is? Respect is a heavy word -- it weighs more than love. You have to respect your partner’s opinions, his or her idea of personal space, and retain your own respect at the same time. Slavishly following every whim of your partner and then behaving like a spoilt child once this transient charm of saying yes to everything is over is not what makes a marriage.

There are too many people squabbling over money, career, child rearing, household duties and every possible angle of a conjugal life today. These petty disagreements are not going to occur if two people respect each other. It is difficult, and not blindly done, but those who can manage it have found the key to happiness.

The Meaning of Commitment

Do you walk around with your resignation letter in your pocket? Do you automatically look for loopholes while signing a contract? Do you like painting one day and want to take up pottery on the next? When a person is fickle-minded, it will show in every aspect of his or her actions. In marriage, commitment does not limit itself to being tied down to the marital bed. It may sound shocking, but there are couples who have actually had open affairs with other people and stayed undyingly true to each other. And there are chaste and prim creatures who surf pornography on the sly. Commitment is a contract between you two – you define the terms – and ensure you stick to them.

The Value of Freedom

Marriage and freedom, in popular imagination, are opposite terms. The moment you marry, you are supposed to be fettered to the other in ‘wedlock’. But love is all about setting free, not tying down. Couples who have led gloriously happy married lives have learnt how to be free within their marriage. This includes freedom of opinion, thought, action and emotion – up to a degree mutually agreed upon. We are not advocating a Bohemian lifestyle, but marrying does not mean enrolling into prison life either.

The Role of Communication

How do you voice your love? Some shout it from rooftops, some look around before whispering it into the ear. Communication is not just talking, but connecting in general. You can say volumes through touch, smile, nod, glance and silence. Do you understand each other? If you don’t, or if you find you have to spell out everything and yet make that extra effort to get yourself across, then maybe you should reconsider things.

Romance Never Dies

The day you stop your courtship is the day the fire dies in the hearth. Whether it’s a holiday to Europe or a weekend drive, a diamond ring or a quick kiss before going to work – every gesture counts – because these are the actions we remember most. This is no wishful talk, but a proven attribute of human nature.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Planning Your Wedding Ceremony


Your wedding ceremony is the very core of your special day. Making it just right, as with every other part of your wedding, requires careful planning and organization. Although there are price parameters to be considered here as well, the successful ceremony is more an issue of content than of budget. Once again, it is best to break down the larger issue into smaller components. If you do your research and planning carefully, arranging your ceremony can be a fulfilling, pleasant, and even a spiritual experience.

Begin by deciding the type of ceremony you wish to have. Whether you want the ceremony to be held by a Village or Town Justice of the Peace, clergy person, or other officiator, find and reserve that person early. If you have a civil ceremony, most justices are open to performing the ceremony in any number of different kinds of locations, as long as it is within their and your State. Different states require different licensure and have different legal requirements. Discuss the parameters and requirements of such a service with your officiator.

If you are going to have a Catholic ceremony, you have basically two choices: a ceremony contained within a mass, or a service held without a mass. Practicing Catholics tend to prefer the former. Once that decision is made, the parameters are fairly well laid out by tradition. Changes and additions may be made, but the priest is the final arbiter of what is and is not appropriate. This varies greatly from a Quaker or Friends ceremony in which anyone in the congregation may speak, at any length, on virtually any subject (preferably one that is spiritual rather than mundane). Jewish wedding ceremonies traditionally end with a "bang," the shattering of a glass underfoot. There are a variety of interpretations for this tradition, just one of which is the addition to every happy event, a bit of sadness that recalls the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem. Religious ceremonies each have their own particular guidelines, too numerous to mention here. So, If you wish to have a religious ceremony, your best resource for information is your clergy person. Interfaith, intercultural ceremonies, or same-sex commitment ceremonies all come with their own particular details and specifics. It is best for you to consult with your officiator or another expert to give you the guidelines and make suggestions for the preparation of a tasteful, moving ceremony. Your clergy person may also have special requirements for the bride and groom, such as premarital counseling for discussion of critical issues in your upcoming marriage.

You will need to pick a location for your ceremony. Especially if it is to be held in a church or synagogue, you should make reservations way in advance. Popular seasons and times of year, get taken early. Planning a year in advance is not too much ahead of time.

Next comes your decision regarding you wedding vows. Weddings today are stressing enduring values, with couples placing emphasis on their shared trust, faith, and monogamy. Your wedding vows are a public declaration of your marriage. You may choose traditional wedding vows, you may write your own vows, or you may use a combination of the old and the new.

You can make your vows more relevant to you by substituting words or phrases, by adding verses, and by mentioning family and friends. In this way, you personalize your vows so that they become more meaningful to you and your guests. Verses you select may come from the Scriptures or prayers from the Bible, in which there are many lovely words that emphasize the sanctity of marriage. You may choose to do a reading from a favorite book, poem, or play that has particular significance to the two of you. Some brides and grooms get even more "serious" by quoting from works of philosophy which illustrate their feelings and convictions to one another.

In a Jewish wedding, the vows, so to speak, are the ketubah, or wedding contract, signed by the couple before the ceremony. In some cases, the circumstance surrounding recitation of the vows is more important even than the content. Couples who have a strong belief in astrology may be concerned about waiting for a particular planetary alignment to start their marriage in an auspicious way. Whether your wedding is a large, formal one, or a small, intimate one, the ambiance of the ceremony can be enhanced by your choice and delivery of your wedding vows.

Should you choose to have music at your ceremony, it will add immeasurably to the magic of the moment. Music always has the ability to set the tone for an event. This is equally true for your ceremony. Music must be chosen carefully, with attention to good taste, as well as to personal preferences. Traditionally ceremony music is performed by an organist and/or string quartet (violin, flute, harp), or a brass ensemble (trumpet, trombone, French horn, baritone). You may compliment your instrumental music with one or more vocal soloists.

Like with other aspects of your ceremony, you may stay with traditional musical instruments and selections or you may be more experimental and "creative" by selecting more contemporary music. The use of guitar or harp, with or without an accompanying soloist, is just one suggestion. An ensemble of two to five string or wind instruments is another alternative.

Music can begin being played as your guests enter and are seated. This should take between 20 and 30 minutes depending on the number of guests and the size of the location. Music can accompany various parts of the ceremony. When the wedding party enters, musical accompaniment, from the tradition wedding march to a mixed variety of pieces can be played. If the clergy person sings any of the parts of ceremony, he or she may choose to have musical accompaniment. Music continues during the recessional, as the wedding party and then the guests exit. The clergy or officiator may be asked to make recommendations regarding both the kinds of music and the choice of musicians, and vocalists.

You will first need to decide the kind of music you like. Do so by listening to as many different choices as possible. Many musical groups will furnish you with tapes to listen to in order to make your choice. Be careful with your choice of pieces, because some religious groups may restrict the use of secular pieces, even though in most cases you will have complete freedom with regard to the kinds of musical instruments. Once you have selected your musicians, they become another valuable resource. They will be pleased to offer you with suggestions, of lists of suggestions of music they suggest for the different segments of your ceremony.

Keep in mind that there may be religious restrictions regarding photography, videos, and music during the ceremony, Be certain to check with your clergy person for those parameters.

One of your best resources for planning your wedding ceremony is your clergy person or wedding officiator. These are professionals who have participated in many ceremonies, know what to expect, can guide you, and keep you clear of pitfalls. They are aware of the legal requirements, as well as other details of your ceremony and will be pleased to assist you.

Other bits of nontraditional, or novel additions to your ceremony are the lighting of a unity candle to symbolize the unity of the newly created family. Especially when the wedding is between couples of different religious or ethnic backgrounds, the blending of cultures and traditions is an option that brides and grooms are taking more and more often. One way of differentiating a ceremony is by embracing a variety of histories. One such example is the inclusion of the African tradition in which the bride and groom jump a broom, and the Latin custom in which the bridal couple are encircled by a braided silver necklace to signify the formation of a new family unit.

One lovely sentimental touch that can be added to your ceremony, is the presentation of bouquets by the bride and groom to each other's mothers.

Your wedding rings serve as a reminder, always, of your commitment to one another. Jewish tradition calls for the groom to convey something of value to his bride (and more recently, she to him, as well). This conveyance seals the wedding contract, so it is in a sense part of a legal ceremony. Although couples have also exchanged other items, rings still win out.

It is extraordinarily important for you to share the details of your ceremony with all the professionals who will take part in your wedding. If they each know the details, they can make certain that they perform their allotted functions in a timely, organized way, including and covering everything you deem to be important. Discussion and communication are the keywords here!

Where possible and permissible, a thorough rehearsal of the wedding ceremony is suggested. For some reason the rehearsal dinner has flourished while the actual rehearsal often falls away. Take your time at the rehearsal, and have everyone participating run through the routine at least twice. The goal here is to get everyone familiar with the schedule and comfortable.

Remember to keep in mind that planning your ceremony should be a bonding element between bride and groom. Try not to allow disagreements about details to adversely impact on this delightful aspect of your wedding.

Ceremony Hot Tips

An environmentally correct alternative to having your guests toss rice at you as you leave the church, adds a nice touch. Have your florist or a friend, make paper cones (you might even have your name printed on these) which are then filled with rose petals. Have guests throw the petals instead of rice.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

How To Plan An Inexpensive Wedding

There's no doubt about it, weddings can be expensive. The average cost of a wedding today is $20,000 - $25,000, and weddings are estimated to be a $25.3 billion industry. But don't worry if your budget cannot stretch for the most expensive custom-made gown, elegant invitation cards, or the top photographer, it doesn't mean that your wedding will be any less unique or special than anyone else's.

You just need a bit of guidance and a few tips to help you achieve the dream of your big day. Here are a few suggestions with tips on how to save on some of the more expensive aspects of a wedding.

Wedding Gowns

Do you really need a hand-made wedding dress with beads and diamantes? This is where the big cost is and there are several options in cutting the cost. Why not opt for a second-hand wedding dress? It's probably only been worn once anyway and you can get a once expensive dress for half the price. Consider buying an evening gown/cocktail dress from a department store or look into renting your wedding dress for the day.

The Reception

This is where the cost of a wedding can get out of hand. The wedding reception is normally the biggest expense, but one of the easiest to cut down on costs. Statistics show that an average of 189 guests attend a wedding, this is a lot. Try and keep your guest list to a minimum, do you really need to invite family members who you have never seen for years? Instead of a three-course meal why not opt for a hot and cold buffet (even cater for yourself)? Instead of holding the reception in an expensive hotel suite or wedding reception, why not consider having it at someone's home or a club, or even book a restaurant. Keep an open bar to a minimal and only serve beer, wine and soft drinks.

Photography

The obvious choice is to shop around for the best rates, but consider hiring a photographer for the ceremony only and ask a family member or friend to take snap photos of the reception. Or you could go one step further and ask them to take the photographs for the whole day and not bother with the expense of a photographer at all.

Invitations / Stationery

If you're on a budget and looking for cheaper wedding stationery items, then you might like to consider print-at-home invitation cards. There are many online stationer's that will offer this service free of charge. You pay for the paper and envelopes, then use their software to print directly from your own PC. With sophisticated customization tools you'll be able to enter your own text and preview it before you print so as not to make any costly mistakes. Alternatively, you can buy software and do-it-yourself from your PC.

Miscellaneous

Flowers can be another great expense, but also an unnecessary one. Why not buy wholesale flowers, or pick flowers from your garden (or a friends or relatives). Buy plain gold or white gold wedding bands as these are the cheapest. Get a friend to make your wedding cake for you and opt for a smaller tier cake and it doesn't have to be a fruit cake - try a sponge, chocolate or carrot cake! Make your favors and centerpieces yourself. Accessories for these can be found at little outlet stores or online. Lastly, instead of a limousine why not rent a car or borrow a luxury car from a friend or relative?

Summary

Weddings are expensive if you want them to be. But if you want to keep money aside for a deposit on a house or a honeymoon to remember, then there are many cost cutting ideas. All you need is a little imagination, and some help from friends and family and you too can have a luxury wedding with all the trimmings.