Low Cost Catering Ideas

Many people cannot afford a lavish four-course sit down dinner or a full buffet feast for their wedding or event. In most cases, the food and beverages are the largest expenses of a wedding or party. You need to consider the time of the day of your reception or party. The time of your event plays an important role in the type of menu that you are planning. Your guests will expect different types and amounts of food depending on the time of the day of your affair.

General Meal Times:

Breakfast 9:00 a.m. to 11:00 a.m.
Brunch 11 a.m. to 2 p.m.
Lunch 12:00 p.m. to 3:30 p.m.
High Tea/Snacks 2 p.m. to 4 p.m.
Dinner/Cocktails 5 p.m. to 8 p.m.
Passed or Stationary Hors d'oeuvres 8 p.m. and later
Dessert 9:00 p.m. to 10:30 p.m.

If you cannot afford a fully catered event here are some low-cost party ideas. Do not forget to serve beverages and wedding cake if you are getting married. Even the simplest of foods can appear special when presented with flair. In addition, time of year and the corresponding temperatures should be a large factor in menu planning. Generally buffets are cheaper than sit-down meals because the caterer has to provide less waitstaff.

A Tea Reception

A tea reception is inexpensive and it should be held between 2 p.m. and 4 p.m. Tea and coffee is served with a variety of "tea sandwiches" also known as "dainties". The crusts are cut off of these small sandwiches. Tarts, scones, and pastries may be served, as well. Make sure that you add "Tea Reception Following Ceremony" on your wedding invitations. For our take out menu: takeoutmenu@quicktell.com

A Salad Luncheon/Reception

A salad luncheon reception is wonderful if your wedding is late morning. In addition, this type of meal is cheaper than a sit-down meal or buffet. Offer a wide selection of salads such various pasta salads, potato, rice salads, Chinese salads, coleslaw, fruit salads, gelatins with fruit, and green salads. Provide a few salad dressings, fruits, and breads. Include "Salad Reception Following Ceremony" in your invitation. For our take out menu: takeoutmenu@quicktell.com

Hors d'oeuvres Reception or Deli/Party Trays Reception

This type of reception/event is appropriate between 11 a.m. and 5 p.m. or after an evening wedding. Provide light finger foods such as chips and dips, fruit and vegetable platters, cheeses, and crackers. Write "Light Hors d'oeuvres Reception Following Ceremony" on the invitations. If you would like to include more substantial foods that are more filling include meat and cheese trays, shrimp cocktails, oysters, egg rolls, sausages, chicken wings, and tea sandwiches. Include "Hors d'oeuvres Reception Following Ceremony" if you are serving appetizers with meats. For our hors d'oeuvres menu: horsdoeuvres@quicktell.com

Hors d'oeuvres and Cocktail Reception

This type of reception or party is similar to the one above in regards to time and menus. However, you are serving hors d'oeuvres, cocktails, and non-alcoholic beverages. Include "Hors d'oeuvres and Cocktail Reception Following Ceremony" on your invitations. Request your caterer to include bartending staff. For our hors d'oeuvres menu: horsdoeuvres@quicktell.com

Decadent Dessert Reception or Dessert Party

This type of reception is suitable between 1 p.m. to 4 p.m. or after an evening wedding. Serve an extensive assortment of rich desserts such as cheese cakes, tarts, tortes, cookies, pies, cakes, pastries, cobblers, biscotti, ice cream, sundaes, and candies. Serve coffee, tea, and other beverages. Add "Dessert Reception Following Ceremony" to your invitations. For our desserts menu: desserts@quicktell.com

A Simple Cake and Punch Reception

You can "Let them eat cake" as long as your event is not during a normal mealtime. Have a simple but elegant cake and punch reception. It must be planned for the mid morning, for the mid afternoon, or for after an evening wedding. In addition, you may include some candies, cookies, and nuts to the menu. Be certain to include "Cake and Punch Reception Following Ceremony". This will inform the guests ahead of time not to expect a full meal. For our wedding cakes menu: weddingcakes@quicktell.com

Other Cost Considerations Location/Rental Equipment

Does the site include tables or chairs or do you have to rent them? Do not forget that you many need to rent tents, linens, and kitchen facilities. You many cut costs by using paper and plastic goods instead of glassware, china plates, cloth napkins, and silverware.

Waitstaff/Duration of the Event

How long is the event? If the event runs over you may have to pay overtime charges. How long do you have the reception site/facilities for? Does the time of the rental of the site and the waitstaff include the time of the set-up and clean up? Ask you caterer to start cleaning up while your guests are still there. If you cannot afford waitstaff consider ordering drop-off food or self-serve buffet food. Or you can have your friends pick up some deli trays or take out food and set up the food with their assistance.

Bon Appetit!

Invitation Etiquette

Etiquette and tradition play an important role in preparing wedding invitations. Narrowing the guest list and assembling current addresses is just the beginning.

Invitations should be selected as soon as the date is set and the guest list is completed. Usually couples select them at least three to six months in advance to allow plenty of time for ordering, proofreading the text and addressing the invitations or hiring a calligrapher. Invitations should be mailed no later than four to six weeks before the wedding and up to eight weeks ahead for summer or holiday weddings, due to busy schedules.

The items you order for your invitation set should include the invitation itself, as well as several enclosures. The invitation announces the wedding couple and their sponsors. Of course, it also lets your guests know the date, time and location of the ceremony.

Enclosures are the small cards included with the invitation. They provide more detailed information than is available on the invitation itself. In addition to reception and response cards, you may have other types of enclosures such as pew cards, maps or "within the ribbons" cards. "Within the ribbons" or pew cards are primarily used for very formal weddings only. Pew cards are included in the invitation of guests of distinction, such as close family members and special friends. These guests present their cards upon arrival at the ceremony to receive their "within the ribbons" front row seating.

Map cards should be included for all the out-of-town guests who may have trouble finding the ceremony or reception site.

Invitations normally come with two envelopes, an inner and an outer. However, the more contemporary, square sizes usually only come with single outer envelopes. The outer envelope serves as the mailing vehicle, while the inner envelope protects the invitation. For added elegance, the inner envelopes may be enhanced with colored linings. Most inner envelopes won't have a gummed flap.

When writing your invitations, here are some key points to remember. Traditional British spelling is often used for words such as "honour and favour." Each line of the address should be centered for a balanced look. Courtesy titles such as Mr., Miss, or Mrs. are always used. The title Ms. should be reserved exclusively for business correspondence and should not be used on a wedding invitations. Military titles are handled by rank. Always spell out full names, (not nicknames or abbreviations) and dates, times and addresses are also spelled out.

Depending upon the number of enclosures, the size and weight of your invitations, extra postage may be required. It's a good idea to take one of your invitation ensembles (pre-stuffed) to the post office, so it can be weighed for the exact postage.

Here are a few additional pointers. It's customary to send an invitation to your minister, priest, or rabbi and their spouse. All children over the age of eighteen should receive their own separate invitation. Plan to order an additional 25 invitations to allow for the unexpected.

If your wedding is very small or private, you may want to send announcements to those friends and relatives you were unable to invite to the ceremony. Typically, announcements are sent immediately following the wedding and include the time and location of the ceremony. An "at home card" may accompany the announcement to inform friends and family of your new address and phone number.

Finally, you'll probably need a final guest count by two weeks prior to the ceremony, so you can notify your caterer. Some people put a number on the back of each response card, to correspond with the guest name on their master list. That way if the guest forgets to put their name on the response card, you can match up the name with the number on the list.

Weddings On A Budget

Many couples are shocked to learn the average wedding will cost over $10,000. In larger cities, that amount can easily top $15,000. However, with good organizational skills, a bit of ingenuity and some flexibility, it can be done cheaper.

Good communication is essential when discussing money and budgets. The bride and groom should discuss the budget openly, and diplomatically, with their families, but no one should feel pressured to contribute.

Setting a realistic budget and sticking to it, is a critical element for keeping costs down. Couples can easily get carried away during the planning process, upgrading here and there, quickly surpassing the budget. The wedding budget can be broken down into six major categories: reception, music, photography, flowers, bride's attire and miscellaneous. As a rough guideline, plan on devoting about 50 percent of your budget to the reception (including site, food, drink, rentals, service and cake) and 10 percent each to the other five categories. These amounts are flexible, but they do provide a workable starting point.

A custom-made wedding planner is one way to keep track of all the details, including the budget. You could also get a loose-leaf binder or accordion file, divided into all the special sections. One of the biggest mistakes couples make is not planning ahead. If things get down to the wire, all budgets may become useless. Utilize your planner/binder/or file to stay organized.

When dress shopping, avoid ornate, hand-done beaded gowns, which are more expensive than simple styles. Consider buying a sample dress, off the rack. If you're lucky enough to be the right size for a sample dress, as opposed to having it custom made, you can save money. But note, you may have to get the dress dry-cleaned before the wedding. Another less expensive option would be a white bridesmaid dress.

For your photos, compare hourly rates and package deals to see which is more cost-effective for you. You can have the photographer do only the formal shots and then ask your guests to take candid shots at the reception to fill out your album.

As the wedding reception is the single biggest expense, it's also where you can save the most money. Reception Halls can be costly, especially if couples are required to use the in-house catering service. Search for a site such as a historical home, park, museum, fairgrounds, public gardens or other venues. It's always a good idea to avoid the peak wedding months, May, June, July and August, because all aspects of the wedding business are more likely to negotiate a lower fee during slow periods. If you can have your wedding on a Friday night or Sunday afternoon, your venue may lower their standard price.

At the reception, control what is offered at an open bar. If you decide on hard liquor, include only two or three options such as gin or vodka. If possible, hire an independent bartender and buy the liquor at wholesale outlets.

Here are a few more wedding budget stretchers:

1) Check the classified ads for a wedding dress, chances are, it's only been worn once!

2) Narrow the guest list. If you have 200 on the list, cut it to 150.

3) Make do-it-yourself centerpieces for the reception, using balloons or potted plants.

4) Select your flowers carefully. They will be cheaper if they are in season....tulips in late March, for example.

5) Instead of a limo, rent a luxury car and have a friend drive.

6) Have the ceremony & reception in the same place and have the DJ do the music for both.

7) Ask relatives if they can help you cater the event yourself.

8) Rent basic black, non-designer tuxes, all from the same outlet, and ask for a group discount.

9) Borrow items such as punch bowls, glasses, serving trays, etc.

A Wedding Shower Checklist

Bridal showers are one of many pre-wedding parties and are great fun. They are known as parties with a purpose. The purpose of a shower is to assist the couple in equipping their new home or for the bride to assemble a trousseau. Not only that, but they are a good excuse for the bride to get together with her friends and family to play hilarious games and to enjoy the food and wine.

Did you know that a trend has started for 'couples showers'? This is sometimes termed as the 'Jack' and 'Jill' shower where you shower both the bride and groom with gifts and good wishes. Either way, if you are having a traditional shower party for just the bride, or decide to have a couples shower, then the planning and the checklist will invariably be the same.

Here is an outline of a wedding shower checklist to get you on your way to organizing a great shower party.

Who should host the shower?

Traditionally the maid of honour tends to plan the shower party. But today, anything goes and it is perfectly acceptable for both family and friends to work together to organize, host and share the cost of the wedding shower. It doesn't really matter who actually hosts the party as long as it is planned well in advance and normally in consultation with the bride. If the shower is planned to be in someone's home, then it's always a good idea to choose the person with the largest home or garden.

When to have your party

Because of the busy schedule the bride and her family will have in the lead up to her wedding, it is best to hold the shower about four to six weeks before the wedding. A growing trend is that more wedding showers are no longer a surprise and statistics show that 4 out of 5 brides are employed, therefore it is necessary to include the bride in the planning when it comes to setting a date and time. A traditional 'girl-only' party could be a Sunday brunch, a midweek lunch or an afternoon tea garden party.

Couples showers are best held on a weekend day or evening. The majority of people tend to work between 9-5 Monday-Friday, therefore a weekend is a safe bet in that most of the couples' friends and relatives can attend. If you are having a shower party with work colleagues, then the ideal time would be in your lunch hour or straight after work.

Who to invite

Apart from your family members, the host should invite people you know well whether it be friends, relatives or work colleagues. You don't want to invite too many people, as a large group tends to split off in small separate groups. You want everyone to interact with each other and be a manageable size for everybody to play the hilarious shower games and not feel left out. Taking all this into consideration, a comfortable shower should involve about 10-20 people.

You don't necessarily need to buy expensive shower invitations. Another growing trend is that many brides are doing their wedding research on the Internet. The internet has opened up many 'cheaper' avenues and you can now get some great printable-wedding-shower-invitations. These invitations are customized with your own wording and design, and are printed directly from your own printer.

What's your Theme?

As with the actual wedding, it is wise to choose a theme before sending out the invitations. The theme can then be used throughout the shower and incorporated in with the invitations, decorations, favors and refreshments.

There are literally dozens of topics for a shower party theme. The most popular is the 'kitchen' theme as there are endless pieces of equipment and accessories you can buy for the kitchen. The host knows the bride well and will surely fit a theme around either what the bride and groom need, or their lifestyle. For example if the happy couple are both into health and fitness, then a fitness theme could be an option.

One good idea for a couples shower is a wine tasting theme. This is ideal for a Saturday night party and I am sure the men will enjoy this one and easily get into the swing of things!

Food, Favors and Games

Food: It depends on the theme and location for which type of food to prepare. For example, if you are holding a 'wine tasting theme', then a finger buffet with crackers, nuts and other nibbles goes down well with wine. If you are holding a garden shower party, consider light finger food - cheeses, crackers, fresh fruit, mini-quiches, blueberry cream puffs, crab dip and a bacon, egg and cheese casserole and salads.

Favors: Some people choose not to give shower favors. It really depends on where you live and if it is a tradition in your area or not. If you do, you don't have to go overboard with favors if you want to keep the expense down. Give something small and useful like a scented candle. Most people like scented candles and they are practical. A potpourri satchel is another welcome and practical idea.

Games: Everyone should be included in the shower games. Shower party games are a great ice-breaker for people to get to know each other. Games can include bridal shower bingo as this is always a big hit as is what's in the bag (memory game). Trivia questions about the bride and groom or making a wedding dress with toilet paper are all fun games to be had.

Thank You Cards: Normally a simple 'thank-you' was enough, but today, with showers being larger and guests busier, a personal note is the only way to make sure that sincere appreciation is expressed.

Summary

Bridal showers are meant to be fun. They do need a lot of planning and organization in advance, but they are worth it. The bride and groom receive practical gifts for their home, and shower party's are a great excuse to get together with friends and family to have one whale of a time!

Oh No! The Wedding Speech

Your palms are sweaty. You can hear your heart beat in stereo. Your voice is shaking while you speak (or so you think) , and you've broken out in a cold sweat. No you're not talking to the man or woman of your dreams for the first time, its public speaking. Public speaking makes most people very nervous, so when asked to be the maid of honor or best man, he or she may panic. But never fear help is here. Tell them not to panic, they will be able to deliver a great speech, because they are about to discover the secret to great public speaking. The secret is caring about your subject. If you truly care about the subject you are talking about, then you can keep the interest of your audience because they will be captured by your passion for the topic. That is why writing a speech for a special event like a wedding is very easy for those close to the bride and groom.

Here are some tips to writing a speech that will have guests mesmerized. And no, you're not going to reveal all the bride and grooms embarrassing moments. Ok, maybe one or two, but don't go crazy.

First, here are some tips to get you started:

1. Take time to think about what you want to say. Think about what you want people to know about your friend and his new wife and what you wish for their future.

2. Sit down and write it out. ( You don't have to carry it with you to the wedding, but writing it down will help you remember what you want to say)

3. Let your guard down. Don't be afraid to let your emotions show. This is one of your good friends, if not your best friend, its ok to cry.

4. Put a little bit of your personality into the speech. Let your word reflect who you are and how you feel that day!

5. Practice your speech in front of people that you feel comfortable with and ask them for their honest opinion.

6. Keep it short! Your speech should be between 5 and 10 minutes.

The first step to writing a good speech for a special event or anything is to know your subject. You already have this down because you are probably close with either the bride or groom. Start your speech with one of your favorite memories of the time spent together. This memory can be sentimental or funny, but nothing too embarrassing. Remember only share information appropriate for all ages. The next step of your speech is to reflect on the history of the happy couple. Recount a short story of how they met and how the relationship has affected the both of them positively.

And finally, since we want to keep the speech short, let everyone know how you feel about the happy couple and wish them success in their marriage. You could let the happy couple know that you hope that they have success in their marriage and that no matter what happens between them, they can work it out. Another idea is that you could call upon all guest to work as a community to keep the happy couple together, because sometimes outside forces have a great impact on marriages. The last thing that you do is raise your glass and salute the bride and groom. You're done, and it's over! Take a deep breath and have that glass of champagne.

Changing Your Name After Marriage

Are you planning on changing your name once you finally tie the knot? If you decide to do so, there are so many options. Do you hyphenate, keep your maiden name as your middle name, combine both names, or be traditional? Well whichever option you choose, the name change process can seem overwhelming. There are numerous forms to gather from many government agencies. You'll need a social security form, US passport form, driver's license form, voter registration form, IRS forms, forms to send to your employer, insurance company, utilities companies, and all organizations of which you are a member. Many brides put off the process and wait for months or even years to change their name. The process is really not that horrible. Once you gather your forms & complete them, most can be sent in through the mail. The only office you'll need to visit in person is the motor vehicle department.

If you plan on traveling overseas on your honeymoon, the name on your airline ticket must match the name on your passport. Therefore, wait until you return to change your name and book your tickets in your maiden name.

The bride taking the groom's name is not the only way to go. A groom can also legally change his last name to the bride's. This is not as popular, but it does happen. A groom may have a long last name or a name he isn't fond of and decide he wants the bride's name.

Glossary Of Wedding Terms And Definitions

Glossary Of Wedding Terms And Definitions

by Matt Jacks, Freelance Writer

All weddings are different of course, but nevertheless they also have many things in common, so here is a look at some of the terms and definitions that are associated with them.

It can be useful to know in advance what you might expect, whether you will be attending as a guest, a family member (who may be footing some of the bill for these things), or even looking for ideas if you are a prospective bride or groom.

A wedding glossary can also be used as a precautionary measure as well, as if something goes wrong on such an important occasion; then blame will surely have to be placed somewhere, and if you find yourself not knowing what's what - then that somewhere might just be you!

Ascot Tie - This is a wide type of necktie that is reserved for the most formal of daytime weddings and occasions. It is worn with a gray cutaway (morning) coat that is longer in the back than at the front and gray striped trousers.

Backpiece - This is an often highly decorated comb that sits on the back of a bride's head and is used for attaching her veil.

Ballet - Also known as a waltz, this is a veil length that drops below the bride's knees, but above her ankles.

Basket Weave - A type of decorative piping on the wedding cake which features interlinked horizontal and vertical lines of icing.

Best Man - The best man will have numerous duties, the most important of which is to keep the bride's ring safe until it's time for the vows, when he hands it to the groom for putting on her finger. His other duties include announcing speeches at the reception and making his own. He will also sign the marriage license, and make sure the groom gets to the wedding!

Biedermeier - A type of posy where the flowers are arranged in rings according to their color. (See Posies).

Blusher - A short, single layered veil that covers the bride's face before the ceremony.

Bomboniere - This is an Italian word which is sometimes used to refer to wedding favors. (See Favors).

Boutonierre - This is a single flower or flower bud or a small group of flowers or buds; worn by the groom, best man, ushers and the male relatives of the bride and groom, on the left (over the heart) lapel of their jackets.

Bow Tie - The most popular choice of tie to wear with a tuxedo. May also be known as a 'dickey bow.'

Bridal or Bride's Bouquet - The bunch of flowers given by the groom to his bride.

Bridal Procession - Every girl's chance to be a princess. Resplendent in her gown, and on her doting father's arm, the accompanying entourage can be as lengthy as she wishes (venue and cost permitting).

Bridesmaids - These are the gals who are good friends with the bride, supporting her emotionally both before and on her big day. Although they pay for their own gowns, the bride should give them an idea as to what sort of styles and colors she expects them to wear, as some in this group may try to outshine the star of the show.

Buffet - A self service style of meal at a wedding reception, where the food and drinks are presented on a long table, or a series of tables, and the guests collect a plate and help themselves whenever they wish (queues permitting). A buffet is usually the most affordable option as considerably less waiters are needed (if any), but the costs can rise as less control over food portions can be exercised.

Buttercream - A soft and creamy icing that can be colored, flavored and used for decoration or filling for a wedding cake.

Calligraphy - This is an ornate highly stylized form of handwriting seen on expensive wedding invitations and other places.

Candle Lighters - These are children (hopefully responsible ones) who light candles at the altar when the bride's mother (who is the official hostess of the ceremony) takes her seat. Sometimes these candle lighters are uniquely dressed.

Cascade - See Shower.

Cathedral - The longest of veils, this is three and a half yards in length.

Chapel - This is the name for a length of bridal veil that will reach the floor, extending two and a half yards from the headpiece.

Chief Bridesmaid - See Maid Of Honor.

Columns - See Pillars.

Comb - A bridal headpiece attached to her hair with teeth like a comb. May be as ornate as the bride wishes it to be.

Cornelli - A complicated decorative form of icing which resembles a lacework on the wedding cake.

Corsage - A single flower bloom or a small spray of blooms which are attached to a lace and pinned to either the front of a woman's dress, or at her wrist. Orchids are among the most popular flower choices for corsages, and at weddings they are usually only worn by female relatives of the bride and groom.

Crown - One of the things a bride may choose to wear, it is a fully circular gemstone or bead adorned head piece that is larger than both a half crown and tiara. In Greek Orthodox Christian weddings; both the bride and groom have crowns placed on their head by the Koumbaro, who then swaps the crowns between the couple three times. (See Koumbaro)

Cummerbund - This is a broad sash worn around a man's waist on top of his shirt but under the jacket. They are usually black, but may be any color required.

Dais - This is a podium or platform raised from the floor. In wedding receptions, it is where the bride and groom are seated. The word is also used to indicate the flower display on the happy couple's table, which often tumbles over the front.

Damask - This is a linen or fabric with raised patterns woven into it. Brocade is similar but of a heavier weight. The word is derived from Damascus, the capitol of Syria.

Dotted Swiss - A method of decorating the wedding cake which involves small random dots of icing.

Double Tier - A two layered veil. Usually, one layer will be longer than the other.

Dragees Round - These are the edible and brightly colored balls of sugar seen on wedding cakes.

Elbow - A length of veil which reaches down to the bride's elbows.

Embellishments - These are extra adornments either sewn or glued onto a bridal gown. The additions may include; embroidery, lace, glass or crystal beads, ribbons, bows, shiny plastic circular pieces called sequins, fringes, pearls, and others.

Euro Tie - Often worn with a spread collar, this is a long tie that is more formal than a regular necktie, but less so than an ascot. (See Ascot).

Father of the Bride - He used to pay for everything at a wedding but nowadays both families often share the costs. What has not changed is his duty of escorting his daughter down the aisle in her last few moments of being single.

Favors - These are small inexpensive gifts that may be given to all guests at a wedding as a thank you for their attendance, and also to serve as a souvenir.

Fiancé - This is the title of the groom or husband-to-be between the engagement and the wedding.

Fiancée - This is the title of the bride between her engagement to her betrothed and the wedding day.

Finger Tip - One of the most popular lengths of veil, which as the name suggests, extends to the fingertips.

Fish Bowl - A centerpiece in floral decorations where flowers are together in a, ornate or otherwise, low and broad glass bowl.

Flower Girls or Flower Children - These are small children (usually girls) that pave the way down the aisle for the bride by holding a pomander or scattering flower petals from a small basket. (See Pomander).

Flyaway - This is a many layered veil that will barely reach to the shoulder.

Fondant - This is a sweet icing made from sugar, syrup and gelatin that has supple qualities which enable a layer to be draped over the wedding cake like a fabric. It is then used as the base for other elaborate decorations and designs.

Formal - At a formal wedding, dress codes come into force, so don't make a mistake guys, or your date will give you hell.

Fountain - This is the name of a veil style, where part is gathered up atop the bride's head and the remainder set loose to fall around her face. A fountain veil will reach to either the shoulder or the elbow, depending on preference.

Ganache - This is a mixture of chocolate and cream, used either to fill or garnish a wedding cake.

Garlands - These are flower and / or green leaves twirled into ropes or loops that are often hung from the likes of doorways, stairs and railings. The word can be interchangeable with wreath, but properly this is always circular, and a garland need not be so. A garland may also be worn by the bride as a headpiece. (See Wreath).

Groom's Cake - A smaller, second cake that may or may not be included in the wedding ceremony. If it is, then it is often served at the rehearsal dinner.

Gum Paste - This is a mixture of sugar, starch and gelatin. It's what many of those realistic looking flowers, fruits and ribbons are made of on a wedding cake.

Half Crown - An ornate headpiece for the bride which lies between a crown and tiara in size and weight.

Hattabin - These are the male friends and family of the groom at a Moslem wedding.

Honor Attendants - These are the best man and the maid (or matron or man) of honor.

Hora - A dance at a Jewish wedding where the bride and groom are lifted high on chairs.

Huppah - A flower bedecked canopy that is an essential part of a Jewish wedding.

Ikebana - This is an extremely dramatic and artistic form of flower arranging that originated in Japan, but is now popular all over the world and often seen at weddings.

Imam Zamin - This is a good luck tradition after a Moslem wedding where the mother of the bride ties a coin that is wrapped in silk around her daughter's arm.

Juliet Cap - This is a close fitting cap that is often decorated with precious stones sometimes worn as a bride's headpiece.

Ketubah - In Jewish weddings, this is the wedding contract between the bride and groom. It is usually highly decorated and often framed and put on a wall in the couple's home.

Koumbaro - This is the title of the best man in Eastern Orthodox Christian weddings. (See Crown).

Lace - A decorative mesh of interlaced threadwork which is plaited, knotted, looped and turned to make either simple or complicated patterns and raised work. There are many different styles of lace, which has a long history of romance, and in some form or other it is very often included on a wedding gown. Alencon, Chantilly, Spanish and Venise are just a few of the many lacework types available.

Latticework - An icing adornment on a wedding cake that zigzags.

Maid Of Honor - Known as the chief bridesmaid in some countries, she is the last bridesmaid to walk down the aisle before the bride herself. If the couple are exchanging wedding rings, then it is her duty to hold the ring destined for the groom, and hand it over to the bride at the right time, as the best man does in reverse. She will also hold onto the bouquets during the vows, and see that the bride's dress is properly turned out.

Man Of Honor - Some brides prefer to have a male friend attending to the duties of the maid of honor. If so, this is his title.

Mantilla - This is a Spanish word literally meaning 'little cloak.' It is a lace or tulle shawl that the bride can wear around her head and shoulders.

Marzipan - Made of sugar, egg whites and almonds, this substance can be used as a base for icing, or to mold decorative forms such as flowers from, on the wedding cake.

Matron Of Honor - This is the proper title given where the maid of honor is herself married.

MOH - This abbreviation stands for maid / man / matron of honor. See respective entries.

Nosegay - See Posies.

Oasis - This is the name of a specialist hard foam used by florists in bouquet holders or vases. Holes are made in it for the flower stems to fit into, as an oasis (as its name suggests) will preserve water for a long time. This will naturally allow for fresher looking flowers at the wedding.

Officiant - This is the cleric or secular official that carries out the ceremony. For non religious weddings, he or she might be a justice of the peace, magistrate or even the Captain of a ship (when onboard).

Pageant Bouquet - See Presentation.

Pages or Page Boys - These are small children (usually boys) who follow the bride down the aisle carrying some of her train. They can also be known as train bearers. (See Train).

Pillars - These are the supports used to prop up the varying tiers of a multi-tiered wedding cake. They may be made from cardboard, plastic or wood. They are also known as columns.

Piping - This is a way of making shapes like bows, leaves, stars, flowers, or design patterns using icing. A pastry bag is filled with soft icing, then squeezed through a selection of different shaped tips onto the wedding cake, where it hardens. Royal icing is often used for this, as it can easily be colored and is not strongly flavored.

Pomander - This is a round ball completely covered by flower blooms. They are carried by flower girls in the bridal procession who hold them by a ribbon.

Posies - These are the small and roundly shaped flower bouquets that are tightly packed and also will include greenery, which can often be sweet smelling herbs. They are held together by a twine or sometimes a wire. A posy can also be known as a nosegay, as these are similar but generally a proper posy is slightly smaller.

Pouf - This is a piece of netting that is gathered up and attached to a headpiece or comb, to allow for extra height to the veil.

Presentation - This is an elegant bouquet of long stemmed flowers that the bride carries in her arms.

Qazi - This is the title of the cleric who holds a Moslem wedding ceremony.

Ring Bearer - This is a usually a small boy, sometimes a little girl, who walks down the aisle as part of the bridal procession carrying an ornamental cushion that has two rings tied to it. (Not the actual wedding rings).

Rukhsat - A ritual tradition in Moslem weddings where the father of the bride gives her hand in marriage to her groom, on the promise that he will look after her.

Semi-formal - At these weddings; a less restrictive choice of clothing applies, but you still can't get away with much.

Shower - A spray of long stemmed flowers, often mixed with ivies that cascades downwards as the bride holds it in her hands.

Silk - This expensive, lustrous, and fine but strong natural thread is used for the most costly of wedding gowns. Many different weaves are available, which are used for different parts of the gown as they vary in density, suppleness, and sheen. Satin, Organza, Chiffon, Shantung, and Velvet are some examples.

Snood - A snood is an knitted net the bride may wear at the back of her head to enclose her hair.

Stroller Coat - This is a semiformal jacket colored gray or black that resembles a tuxedo, but worn for daytime weddings.

Tails - This is an abbreviation for the tail coat worn for formal evening weddings.

Tiara - One of the headpiece options for the bride, a tiara is a thin jeweled semi-circular coronet with a higher front and sloping sides worn at the top of the head. Or if it is regular in height, then it may be worn at an angle.

Tiers - These are the numerous layers of a wedding cake, usually differing in size, they are supported in place by pillars. (See Pillars).

Topiary - This is the skilled art of clipping or trimming foliage or flower arrangements so that they take on the shapes of animals, lettering, numbers, or various but precise geometric forms.

Tossing Bouquet - A copy of the bride's bouquet which she throws over her shoulder towards bridesmaids and other female guests after the wedding ceremony. Traditionally, whoever catches this bouquet will be the next to wed.

Train - This is a long (or extremely long) extension to a wedding gown or other dress that trails along the floor behind the wearer.

Train Bearers - See Pages or Page Boys.

Tulle - This is a fine mesh used for bridal veils, and sometimes in wedding gowns. Tulle is either made from nylon, silk or rayon (artificial silk).

Tux or Tuxedo - This is a formal or semi-formal men's black evening jacket that may be either single-breasted (1-4 buttons) or double-breasted (2-6 buttons).

Vows - At the very heart of the wedding ceremony, the vows exchanged between the bride and groom are promises of future loyalty, love, trust and support. There are many different ways to word these sentiments, some couples prefer to write their own, use traditional vows, or combine the traditional with some extra tweaking of their own. Vows may either be spoken as a statement or in response to the officiant's question, and may be the same said by both or individual to each.

Waistcoat (Vest) - For ultra-formal evening weddings, the gentlemen might wear a white tie and waistcoat.

Wali - These are representatives of the bride at a Moslem wedding.

Walima - This is the Moslem name for a wedding reception.

Waltz - See Ballet.

Wing Collar - This is the most formal type of collar, shirts with this are the standard choice for wearing with a tuxedo.

Wreath - A circle of flowers and / or leaves that is often decorated with ribbons and bows. Wreaths are generally used as a centerpiece of a decorated area, or are seen above doorways. A small wreath may also be worn by the bride atop her head, if she so wishes. It may also be referred to as a garland though there are differences. (See Garlands).

Yichud - This is a period of time in a Jewish wedding which occurs immediately after the ceremony. During this time the bride and groom are allowed to be alone together.

So, that's a collection of wedding terms given a meaning to. If you're having a wedding soon, then good luck for the big day, you're probably nervous, maybe been dieting. And if it is a simple affair, without much pomp and finery, don't let that worry you. All the extra stuff is only a way of showing celebration; people with more money will naturally spend more (Scrooges aside).

But all this doesn't necessarily reflect on the true magic of the occasion, which is the love between a man and a woman, that can shine through any setting, grand or humble. Money can't buy that, and never will.

Bad Men You Should Avoid When Dating

Women always say, “I didn’t know he was like that” when their boyfriends perform acts that cause everyone around them shame. In some cases they really weren’t aware of the boyfriend’s mischievous deeds, but in other cases women knew well in advance they just hoped he would stop.

Most women are not stupid, gullible, dumb, or any other name critics choose to call them for the selections in men they make. For some, they truly had no idea their boyfriend meant bad news for them. The ever-popular question of, “Why did she get herself involved with him anyway?” continues to loom over their heads and the reasons vary depending on whom you ask. Some women may have found out about their problem boyfriend and stayed because of love, status, money and/or power. Others may have stayed because they didn’t want to carry the guilt of leaving their children’s father over issues they feel could be resolved. Still many women feel they can change him. As long as women continue to believe that the power of sex, money, counseling, personal sacrifice or a host of other strategies to change a bad man will work, they will continue to subject themselves to mental and physical abuse. These strategies simply will never work for some men. There comes a time when women will have to get off their knees whether she is praying to God or pleading to her mate to change. She will have to stand up carrying her self-respect in hand and walk right through the door of “end the relationship now.”

The following advice is written for women who haven’t yet made a commitment or a baby with a “bad boy.” She may be struggling with whether she is ready to settle down with him, distance herself from him or keep him as a friend. Although the best advice is not to offer to carry him or his burdens and just leave him alone, there will be those women who will still stay. If those women choose to stay, they have committed themselves to a hard life of many restless nights, aches and pains at times mentally and/or physically and they most likely will past negative behaviors to their future children and their children.

The Liar – In the beginning of the relationship, you caught him in a few white lies. He had what seemed like convincing excuses; therefore you let him get away with them. Now the lying has increased and the excuses have become minimal if not at all. Actions you may want to consider are the following: Approach him not only with what you think, but what you know; in other words have proof. Stop taking his lying lightly. Let him know that this behavior you will not accept any longer. If he chooses to continue lying, then tell him you will have to end the relationship for good. Once you have made a decision that you are leaving, begin to make efforts to not be contacted by him (change your cell phone number, block his email address, put places you hang out frequently on hold, and avoid telling mutual friends about your personal whereabouts, thoughts and feelings. You must not leave and then go back to him, he will only get better about lying to you over time.

The Player also known as The Pimp – This man is obsessed with being contacted or making contact with the opposite sex. He will use cell phone, email, your house phone or friends to make contact with whomever he meets. He will leave a trail of evidence whether it is the popular piece of paper that slips out of his pocket with a phone number without a name, restaurant receipts, hotel charges, cologne or jewelry gifts, read and sent email that sits in his account that he forgot to delete. He begins to create a pattern in his actions when you have become old and someone else becomes new. Look out for this repetitious pattern. He may develop his pattern after work on a daily basis working later and later nights at the office then when he comes home he is providing almost too much detail about what happened at work or not at all. Another pattern he may create may be choosing a hobby or interest that is very unusual to his personality and attending this faithfully, what you can do to find out if he is sincere is offer to pick him up from the pottery class on some nights. Watch his reaction. There may also be the weekend pattern of always “needing to get away, have some time to myself, or I’m so busy with errands.” All the while making little or no time for the two of you to go out and be seen together. When you suggest new places to visit, he finds an excuse to take you to the same area you both are familiar to keep from running into the other woman or women. He finds a way, anyway, to travel to places without you regularly using an excuse such as “I’m going to my mother’s house or hanging out with Rick, Joe or someone you never heard of Frank.” Be careful family and friends will cover for him. He will call you, at times when he knows you are out and about to see if you will be in the proximity where he will be entertaining the other woman or women. He is protective of his cell phone and his computer; if you tried to check either it maybe password protected. You may want to consider whether having to worry over your man’s whereabouts is worth all of this aggravation. In time, you will become insecure, angry for no apparent reason, and develop a since of distrust toward everyone you meet. This is baggage you don’t need.

The Thief – He has been around when things go missing. At first you didn’t suspect him and thought items had just been misplaced or he blamed someone else for taking them. Yet, you have always had a funny feeling in your gut that he was the one who made off with your dad’s tools, took your favorite CD, helped himself to some cash sitting around, and other important items. It is time to come up with a plan, set him up. The kind of plan you come up with can’t be easily figured out by him and if you sincerely want your restless conscience to be at peace, then go to great lengths to figure out whether he is trustworthy. Time is money and the longer you stay with him, the more items will go missing.

The Hustler – He is always thinking of a way to separate people from their money illegally. From identity theft to standing on the street corner selling drugs, he always has a knot of money and doesn’t mind living lavishly. Now you may think that what he has told you about his daytime job is paying the bills, but the truth of the matter that job didn’t pay for the designer clothing and expensive jewelry you wear; instead it was the second one you may or may not know about. This man is dangerous. He has enemies and one day some one will catch up with him, you or anyone who associates with either of you, and the sight won’t be pretty. You must ask yourself this question, is he worth putting your life and everyone else’s lives around you in danger?

The Abuser/Controller – You can never do anything right. He is often critical, walks around with an attitude and every opportunity he has alone he wants you to stop living your world to be with him. In the beginning of the relationship, you justified his negative personality with excuse after excuse. Whether he is physically ill, illiterate, disabled or mentally disturbed and on medication, you have a right to explain how you feel about him to him. You may have done this already and got knocked to the ground whether verbally or physically. You may have told yourself that things will get better and he is making an effort to change. Well that is good if he is sincere about becoming a better man; however, he can make those strides without you living with him and subjecting yourself to his name calling, mood swings, choking, punching, and grabbing. There are no rewards in heaven given to women who allow themselves to be abused by men. There was only one Christ in the Holy Bible and you are not He. (Read more about the abuser in an article I wrote entitled, “How To Know Your Boyfriend Is Abusive” at this site.)

The Mooch – You have invited him once again on an outing and he never has any money in his wallet. During inopportune times, he says he needs to stop at the ATM and you know there is none even close to where the two of you are located. When he offers to take you out, he usually picks a place that he doesn’t have to pay much (despite the fact that when it was on your tab he ordered steak and another time lobster!) He drives your car and doesn’t fill it up, when you mention it; he finally puts some gas in the tank -- a measly $5 or $10. Holidays come and go with very little if any acknowledgement from him. Yet, you bought him (and possibly his relatives) really nice gifts whether it was a holiday or not. He displays affection, says all the right things, and listens to your concerns only when he knows he needs something from you. If you choose to continue a relationship with this man you have options and they are as follows. You could stop being so generous and treat him how he treats you. For example, when you invite him out, treat him to the kind of places he takes you. Put a limit on how often he drives your car. Avoid helping him when he is in a bind since you know he won’t help you. Make yourself unavailable to run errands for him and anyone associated with him (that includes his children by a previous relationship, his mother, sister or brother.) If he begins to see you are no fool, he won’t continue to run over you and will grow to appreciate you. However, if he doesn’t you will be making it easy for him to walk away from you without you having to break up with him.

The Drunk/ Drug Abuser – How many times have you seen him intoxicated or using drugs? Is he fun, angry, disgusting or depressed afterward? Are most of the relationship problems you have been facing associated with this type of behavior? If so, then you will have to consider whether or not you will help him get counseling from a distance, continue to live with him and endure the abuse, leave him alone altogether or create an intervention for him that includes a professional counselor, family and friends who have all been affected by his negative ways. If he consistently refuses help, then for your own sanity and safety, leave him alone.